You ARE Enough.
You ARE Enough. You are a BOSS.
It seems like many people, especially women, need to hear this more often than we are telling ourselves. We unknowingly take on childhood wounds and become deeply intertwined with feelings of “not being enough”.
You failed a test and you likely got yelled at and felt shame. You messed up on a task you were given at an early age and felt like you couldn’t live up to expectations. Your parents seemed prouder of your older sibling than you. Maybe you were cheated on in a relationship and felt inadequate. These occurrences, and the resulting feelings, have a lasting impression on our psyche and can damage our self-perception if we are not attentive enough to shift them.
Shifting negative self-talk and low self-esteem can be an ongoing, lifelong ordeal. But if we do nothing, these (often inaccurate) self-perceptions prevent us from achieving all that we truly can — because somewhere deep inside of us, is a voice saying that you cannot.
This is a reminder for you, that you CAN.
You are a remarkable human being. You have limitless ability to learn and grow. You have more power within you than you give yourself credit for. How do we go about maintaining these truths in our mindset and personal and professional life?
1. Let go of standards, expectations, and comparing yourself to other people.
This means friends, coworkers, family, or anyone you might compare yourself to. You are your own person and are not in competition with anyone else. You don’t HAVE to do well or perform perfectly all the time to be enough. You don’t have to have the bank account you said you would at this point. You don’t have to be the CEO of a company. Just being you, is enough.
2. Stop the negative self-talk.
“They are better than I am at this”. “They know way more than I do about this”. “I doubt I can do this.” “I should have done better”. These kinds of words do NOTHING to improve your mindset; they only keep you in a place of not feeling like you are enough. Instead, shift your negative thoughts to positive ones. “I can do this.” “I am successful”. “I am smart and capable”. Fill yourself with words and feelings of encouragement rather than things that drag you down further.
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Stop thinking about things that went wrong. They are over. Gone. In the past. Leave them there. Repeating things that went wrong in your head do nothing to serve you. Observing the details of a past situation can help if they can be used to propel you further, but not when you are reliving the negative emotions and beating yourself up over things that cannot be changed. We want to focus on what we are doing now — who we are now — who we can be in the future. Let the rest go.
4. Put your words to action.
So you feel bad that you didn’t work out all week. Tomorrow, you tell yourself. Tomorrow you will. Well then, DO IT tomorrow. The simplest of promises that are kept to yourself drive your self-esteem and feelings of accomplishment and empowerment WAY UP. If you told yourself you were going to finish that project you had today, do it. If you have been meaning to clean up and know that you will feel better once you do, do it! Overcoming hurdles, big and small, have a major effect on our self-worth, feelings of success and fulfillment, and ultimately, give us more confidence in saying we are enough, awesome, achievers, BOSS’s, etc. Apply the mindset to your life.
Sometimes this will require more time spent with the little you who needs to get past scars of the past. I encourage you to write down these limiting self-beliefs of the past and challenge them. What makes them untrue? What makes you a wonderful, powerful, deserving person?
Give yourself the encouragement you need. Be your own cheerleader, and don’t let anyone or anything, past or present, pull you down from all that you are capable of.
The EMPA Team